


and i'm calm

by gillandgilbert



Category: The 1975 (Band)
Genre: Banter, Established Relationship, Fluff, How Do I Tag, Lazy Mornings, M/M, Morning Kisses, Sharing Clothes, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, a little anxiety, adam and ross arent here sorry, but its lowkey, george is a sweetheart, i really perpetuate tiny matty, its soft, kinda influenced by ugh! and paris, kinda not kinda, lmk if i flopped, matty sits on georges lap too, matty wears george's tee, obnoxious use of pet names bc i love it, oh also im australian but i was trying to write with british feel u know, sorta - Freeform, thats it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-07
Updated: 2019-07-07
Packaged: 2020-06-24 03:02:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,256
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19714933
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gillandgilbert/pseuds/gillandgilbert
Summary: A weird 2 am and a soft 11 am





	and i'm calm

**Author's Note:**

> hope u like!! this is my first work in this fandom btw lmao sorry if the characterisation is wack

Matty was pacing. He knew he was pacing. He was very, very aware of the fact. It wasn’t that he was unable to comprehend that he was walking aimlessly in the same pattern. The same circuit. Over and over and over again. It’s just- his brain couldn’t quite calm down. He was trying to just stop the thoughts. His head felt like a ticking time bomb of what the fuck if? His lungs were constricting, his fingers felt numb but he was so very conscious of their presence. It was nearing two in the morning. His heart was beating out of sync. Things were wrong and yet? Not. It’s like his life had no purpose right up until this one moment. He was floating endlessly through time and space, bouncing weightlessly off every wall he came in contact with. He was nothing and nowhere but still he was everywhere. Maybe the idea of dying had crossed his mind one too many times. There was no meaning to life, there was nothing for him here. Life is not predetermined, predestined, pre anything. Life is as it is. It is simple, and it is complicated. His fingers itched for the fag packet on the bedside table. The world was still and quiet everywhere else, in this room it was a whirlwind. It was filled with white noise and thunderstorms.

His eyes were drawn to the open closet, the staple floral blouses, the few dresses that he sometimes managed to talk himself into. He kept walking, dragging his eyes back to the carpet.

Life, Matty thought, is like an endless bowl of alphabet soup. There are words in there, somewhere, things that can have assigned meaning. But take a step back and it’s just a jumble of letters and tomato sauce. His life was leading to death, as was every ones. Life goes to death and death goes to _somewhere._ That. That right there is the centre of all his problems. What was _somewhere?_ What? Where? _When?_ Questions upon questions. The lamp gave a flicker. He looked over and saw George fiddling with the switch, just to have something to do with his hands. He dropped it when he noticed Matty watching him.

George was lying on the bed. He, like Matty, was not asleep. He, unlike Matty, was not questioning his entire life and universe. He was simply watching Matty as he walked back and forth. He flipped his phone from hand to hand as his eyes tracked the hunched over form of the other.

“You’re going to pace a hole into the carpet.”

“No I’m not.”

“Yeah you are. Trust me, if anyone could it’d be you.”

“Shut up, George.”

George smiled impishly, mischief glinting from his face as Matty threw a huffy, half-arsed glare over his shoulder. It worked, though. He quit pacing and perched on the side of the bed. George rolled his eyes fondly and reached to grip the smaller man around the waist. He pulled him until they were both laying on the bed, Matty sprawled over the top of George.

“You okay?” George whispered into Matty’s curls. He felt him give a slight nod, and a small grunt of affirmation emerged from his ribs.

“What are you thinking about?” Matty asked quietly, deflecting any questions George may have had for him.

“You’re the only thing that’s going on in my mind,” George said, voice still hushed to match the tone of two am pacing. They were quiet, though there was really no need. It was only them in the room. In the house. Matty shifted so that he was on his side, facing George. His eyes roamed the profile of the taller, soaking in every angle. The slope of his nose. His lips, his chin, his eyebrows. George rolled over too so they were looking into one another’s eyes. His eyes slipped closed and Matty drank in the shadow that his eyelashes cast onto his cheeks. He scooted closer, George opened his eyes. He smiled and it felt like flowers growing in between his ribs. Purple violets, probably.

“I think,” George began, voice quiet and slow, “I think my boyfriend’s a nihilist.”

Matty rolled his eyes, affection seeping into every crack and crevice in his body.

“I hate you.”

“No you don’t.”

“No, I don’t.”

George reached over and ran his fingertips over the curve of Matty’s face. “Come on, lover-boy, cuddle me.”

“You know, George, you’re an absolute wanker.” He rolled over and forced his way into the curve of George’s body. George’s arm wrapped around him, Matty lifted his head so that George could let him rest it on his other arm. Their legs fit together, a messy tangle of limbs. Matty sighed in contentment.

“Yeah.” George whispered.

“I think you made my brain shut up.” Matty muttered.

George pressed a kiss to his head. Slowly, they both fell asleep.

-

The morning light came quickly. Matty was diagonal across the entire mattress, tangled in the sheets. His (George’s) shirt had bunched up, showing his midriff and pants. George wasn’t in the bed. He lay there for a few minutes, thinking in the soft light of day. He and George were interesting. They fit together just right, like they were meant to be. George just _got_ him. He wasn’t often soft, Matty. He was harsh realities and sarcasm. It was moments like these, and people like George that let him break down his walls, even if just for a moment. His boyfriend was his opposite in many ways, but they were attracted to each other’s gravity nonetheless.

He forced himself out of bed and walked to the kitchen. George was standing at the stove in just his pants, pushing something around in a frying pan. Matty stumbled up to him, eyes almost closed from sleep and wrapped his arms around him. He rested his forehead in the middle of George’s shoulder blades, groaning softly.

“Morning, babe.”

Matty didn’t reply, he kept his eyes closed and tried to sleep standing up whilst wrapped entirely around his George.

“Gonna need you to let me go if you want these eggs to survive,”

“No.”

“Babe.”

“No.”

George started to move anyway, letting Matty step on his heels as he tried to keep up with his eyes still shut.

“I love you, wanker,” George muttered, half to himself and half to Matty.

“Love you too, baby.”

“Don’t call me that.”

“Why not? You’re the youngest.”

They bickered, fondness palpable in the air. Matty finally let George go, George put two plates on the kitchen table and sat down. Matty stood, watching him. The softness of the Sunday morning betrayed none of earlier that day, at two am, when worries were all that Matty could taste. It was eleven am, golden sun was streaming through the window, dust particles dancing in the air. Matty smiled at his boy, a soft and lazy upturn of lips. He leaned downwards, the taller of the two for the first time, and kissed George gently. Their lips moved together, every bit lazy as they were for the makings of the perfect Sunday morning. They didn’t care about morning breath, or the food cooling on the table.

George scooted his chair backwards and pulled Matty onto his lap. Matty’s hands migrated to George’s face, George wrapped his arms around Matty’s neck. They kissed softly for a few more moments in the quiet morning. Tongues intertwined, no need to rush.

He wasn’t allowed calm very often, but with George he was okay.


End file.
